Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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