I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize