I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize