So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
