they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
