Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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