Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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