It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
