oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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