Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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