my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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