Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
