Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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