I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
