just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
