if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
