you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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