My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You were trust falling into bushes
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
