bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
