She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
