We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
