i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize