woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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