WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
