i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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