my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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