That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
