If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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