Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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