I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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