Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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