actually, I'm a sock model
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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