I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
