She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
