I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
