so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
