i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
