Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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