i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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