I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
