I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
