i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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