Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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