That's when you crack a 10am beer
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The dick lei will go down in squad history
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
