Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
