A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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