You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
