Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
