I think i peed on brittanys purse
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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