ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
