I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You ate ashes out of my bong
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
