I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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