oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
