I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
