It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
This house was built for laser tag.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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