It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
