That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
