do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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