I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
