We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
