The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
